Pic­ture this:

You have a boyfriend, but he talks to you like a dog. He doesn’t treat you in ways that say “I care”. He doesn’t make you feel spe­cial; yet you are just happy know­ing that you are “his girl”. A start would be won­der­ing why he treats you like a dog, or why you can’t be cer­tain that he cares about you. More impor­tantly, why do you feel like you are just any other girl to him? Is this how you dreamed a rela­tion­ship would be? Is this how you think you deserve to be treated?

Wait hold it, slow your roll…

That’s a very BAD start to an unhealthy rela­tion­ship – an abu­sive rela­tion­ship. If he can’t respect you now, then how could he ever respect you? If there is not a stop to the abuse, (yes curs­ing at you is abuse – ver­bal abuse) then things will only get worse in the future. Get out now while the signs are clear, and before you start get­ting black eyes, scars, or even death.  If you stand for noth­ing then you will fall for ANYTHING.  

If you allow your­self to be mis­treated – even once – that per­son will always think that you accept the behav­ior.  With so many “good” peo­ple in the world, there is never a rea­son to set­tle for any­one that doesn’t treat you like a queen. You are sup­posed to be loved UNCONDITIONALLY by the one you’re in love with. I’ll bet you get but­ter­flies when you hear from him, or when you guys are face-to-face. But dis­re­spect does not solve any­thing it only makes you hurt more inside and also makes you lose your mind slowly, nobody wants that to happen.

I haven’t always had the dream guy but I learned from oth­ers, and past rela­tion­ships. Never make some­one a pri­or­ity in your life if you are optional, in theirs. Your heart might be wrapped up in that spe­cial guy but LOVE is not sup­posed to hurt. The boy worth your tears won’t even make you cry. Look beyond the “FAME” a boy can bring to you. Don’t set­tle for less and never let any­one make you feel that you’re noth­ing. Love with cau­tion and always be aware of who you are set­tling down with.

“A strong sense of self is impor­tant because if that is absent, you are at risk of being defined by that other per­son and it leaves you void of iden­tity.” – Traci Lee

QUESTION:  Were you the chooser or the cho­sen? Did he take away your con­fi­dence? Mean­ing when you entered this rela­tion­ship, at any point in time did he ever make you feel less of a per­son? Do you look to him to give you a rep­u­ta­tion? Stop and think about each and every ques­tion. While read­ing them did you come to real­ize that you don’t need a man to make or break you? If so “let it go…leave it alone”. Get out of a spoiled rela­tion­ship before it gets rotten.

Never let a man make you feel less of a woman.

Tacreisha Chawn­tae Carter, is 17 years young and attends El Cer­rito High School, home of the MIGHTY, MIGHTY Gaucho’s,  and is grad­u­at­ing class of 2010. She will soon be attend­ing col­lege at Cal­i­for­nia State East Bay.  Once she grad­u­ates with her BA, she plans to trans­fer to Texas South­ern University.